Pondering #430 1/27/2019

Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind. It’s gonna be a bright, bright sun-shiny day.
“I Can See Clearly Now” – 1972 – Johnny Nash

Welcome to Drivel Over Coffee. The Drivel rambles through this thing called life, stopping here and there for reflection, an enlightenment, some storytelling, and a touch of humor perhaps. Oh yes, an occasional rant. All the while my brain reverberates with the best music in the world – The ‘60’s and early 70’s. Yep – Lost in The Sixties. Remember, the brave kids who made this land free for you.

Brrr! Now this is the Iowa winter we remember – a snowstorm followed by frigid temperatures. That was the bad news, the good news is we only have to survive mainly to the first of March. Should be a piece of cake but I doubt that it will be. And we were wondering where winter was only a couple of weeks ago. Another wave hits Tuesday, with freezing rain/snow. Second snowstorm in 5 days. The weathermen are forecasting temperatures reaching as much as 50 degrees below normal. These ungodly cold temperatures will linger around for 8 or 9 days and are likely to set records while they are here. My chosen coping method the next few weeks is to hibernate in bed, piled high with blankets, wireless earbuds in my ears with extra batteries, a bag of munchies and my cell phone. With all this time on my hands, I have time for one of my favorite pastimes – pondering. I have listed a few things I have thought about over the past week. Maybe you can look into these and come up with an answer.

Things to Ponder
How do dragons blow out candles?
If the No. 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still No. 2?
Why do we press harder on the remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why are you “in” a movie, but “on” T.V?
What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?
Why do we drive on parkways & park on driveways?
Why do “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?
Why do British people never sound British when they sing?
At a movie theater, which armrest is yours?
When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?
When French people swear do, they say “Pardon my English’?
Why do people say “heads up” when you should duck?

I did some research on the things to ponder while writing this. Take the bread reference for instance. I began wondering what the best thing was before sliced bread. Well, I didn’t know when sliced bread came into being, so I had to find out who was the first person to commercially slice bread. Do you know? Sliced bread has been around for less than a century. The first automatically sliced commercial loaves were produced on July 6, 1928, in Chillicothe, Missouri, using a machine invented by Otto Rohwedder, an Iowa-born, Missouri-based jeweler. Another example of an invention with ties to Iowa.

What is better than sliced bread? That would be that “Fancy Eatin’ Tray”. Just on the market this past month. It is the easy to use, easy to clean, folds flat for convenient storage.

Big enough to hold your meal and a drink. Keeps your food close at hand so to speak. Just open the unit putting the side with the hole over your head letting it rest on the back of your neck, shoulders, and chest. You can take your meal anywhere that a normal TV Tray just won’t work. Put your meal on the flat surface and eat away. Yum!

When finished with your meal, clean your plates, silverware, and the “Eatin’ Tray”. Dishwasher safe and any detergent used to clean dishes. Dry and fold up and store away. Ready for the next use.

DON’T FORGET – the “Fancy Eatin’ Tray” doubles and your toilet seat when not needed for a meal. How cool is that? Installation is quick and easy. Place the hole side on the top of the toilet, attach the specially designed latches, place the seat down and it is already for your bottom. It couldn’t be easier.

CAUTION: “FANCY EATIN’ TRAY” must be thoroughly cleaned between toilet and before use as a tray. Failure may alter the taste of your meal.

At the end of the day, I never did find out what was better than sliced bread before sliced bread was invented. Such is the ups and downs of pondering…

…….. Well my friends, there you have it as told by yours truly to you all. Thanks for allowing me into your day, if only for a brief time. It is always an honor. If I can make at least one-person smile, laugh till they leak, or maybe spit out a drink, my day was not wasted. Until we meet again – “TA!”

Drivel Over Coffee is available on the internet at www.drivelovercoffee.com or if you prefer to receive it via email, send an email to doycebailey@yahoo.com.