The Pill #409 6/26/2018

It’s late September and I really should be back at school
I know I keep you amused but I feel I’m being used – “Maggie May” – 1971 – Rod Stewart

Welcome to Drivel Over Coffee. The Drivel rambles through this thing called life, stopping here and there for reflection, an enlightenment, some storytelling, and a touch of humor perhaps. All the while my brain reverberates with the best music in the world – The ‘60’s and early 70’s. Yep – Lost in The Sixties. Remember, the brave kids who made this land free for you and me. Have mercy on the draft-dodgers who became professors and forever tainting our youth.

Good Morning America, how are ya? Don’t you know I’m your morning son? Or something along those lines. Yep, just got up and feeling pretty good for the very first time in over a year. Dr. Hoffman, a world renown ENT Specialist from the University of Iowa, working with the ENT Dr’s at the VA Hospital in Iowa City, may (and I stress MAY) have found an answer to my throat and speech problem. What I call an atomic bomb pill designed to kill a very specialized MRSHA infection of the esophagus seems to be working. The pain in my throat is gone!!!! Thanks be to the pill. On Sunday, my voice was perhaps 40% back and showed signs of gaining strength. Does that brighten one’s spirits or what? I am trying to stay calm since it can go south at any second.

So here I am doing the daily newspaper crossword puzzle. It takes between 15 to 18 minutes to complete usually and is very simple really. Lately, what with my medications being adjusted and the daily rummaging in the house, throwing, keeping, finding, reading, recycling over and over upstairs and downstairs. I have caught myself many times reading a crossword puzzle clue, writing in the answer but before I could get to the next clue, my mind shutoff. I would find my mind pondering random things for a few seconds like: “On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.” Or “I always wanted to be a procrastinator, but never got around to it.” What seemed like hours in real time was just seconds and I would snap out of it. I would wonder momentarily where I went and back to the crossword I would go. Oh, but that wouldn’t be the last time, it would happen over and over. Eventually, the crossword puzzle was solved but looked rather bizarre from where my pen had hit it and moved around during an “episode”. Surely, you now realize I live a rather “complicated” life script. Someday we’ll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

We are knee deep in the purging of our house of cherished 42 years old and now unwanted and unneeded stuff. It is mind boggling why we thought we needed to save some of this stuff. Heck we have towel sets that we got as wedding gifts 51 years ago in the original packaging in our linen closet. Why? Sitting in my driveway is a very nice dumpster that is 8 feet x 20 feet x 5 feet. The “girls” gave me some grief about getting one so big. Guess what folks, it is getting full and we aren’t done yet. The old farm boy knows a thing or two still.

A Man Goes Up To A Pharmacist
“Could you give me something to cure hiccups, please?” The pharmacist leans over the counter and gives the man a good slap on the back. Then he asks, “Have they gone?” The man replies, “My wife’s waiting in the car, but I’ll go and ask her.”

Letter to my Boss (you)
I have enjoyed working here these past several years. You have paid me very well, given me benefits beyond belief. I have 3-4 months off per year and a pension plan that will pay my salary till the day I die and a health plan that most people can only dream about. Despite this I plan to take the next 12-18 months to find a new position. During this time, I will show up for work when it is convenient. In addition, I fully expect to draw my full salary and all the other perks associated with my current job.

Oh yes, if my search for this new job proves fruitless, I will be back with no loss in pay or status. Before you say anything, remember that you have no choice in the matter I can and will do this.
Sincerely,
Every Senator or Congressman running for re-election
Are we stupid or what? YES, WE ARE BUT……………..This is something to think of no matter what state you live in or what party you belong to. Stupidity got us into this mess – why can’t it get us out of it?

Following A Little Advice
A woman sought the advice of a sex therapist, confiding that she found it increasingly difficult to find a man who could satisfy her, and that it was very wearisome getting in and out of all these short-term relationships. “Isn’t there some way to judge the size of a man’s equipment from the outside?” she asked earnestly. “The only accurate way, is by the size of his feet,” counseled the therapist.

So, the woman went downtown and looked around, until she came across a young fellow standing in an unemployment line with the biggest feet she had ever laid her eyes on. She took him out to dinner and a movie, then took him to a motel for an evening of abandon. When the man woke up the next morning, the woman had already left. By the bedside table was a $20 bill and a note that read, “With my compliments, take this money and go out and buy a pair of shoes that fit.”

…….. Well my friends, there you have it as told by yours truly to you all. Thanks for allowing me back into your day, if only for a brief time. It is always an honor. If I can make at least one-person smile, laugh till they leak, or maybe spit out a drink, my day was not wasted. Until we meet again -TA!”

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