I am so old! #408 6/19/2018

I’m not half the man I used to be, there’s a shadow hanging over me, oh, yesterday came suddenly.
“Yesterday” 1965 Paul McCartney

Welcome to Drivel Over Coffee. The Drivel rambles through this thing called life, stopping here and there for reflection, an enlightenment, some storytelling, and a touch of humor perhaps. All the while my brain reverberates with the best music in the world – The ‘60’s and early 70’s. Yep – Lost in The Sixties. Remember, the brave kids who made this land free for you and me. Have mercy on the draft-dodgers who became professors and forever tainting our youth.

We meet again at the mid-point of June, almost the mid-point of the year. I longed for so long for the warm weather to get here and can’t even enjoy it. My throat and head problems continue unabated. The throat war is almost at its one-year anniversary. Still no prognosis or solution or treatment. Still 24/7 pain, varying degrees of voice, from almost none to hoarse, coughing, sputum and on and on. GI and ENT people fighting over jurisdiction. No one wants to take ownership at the VA. Meanwhile, my physical condition continues. The steroid treatment is ramping down and resultant GCA problems seem to be returning of course, and the attendant unstable motor and mental reflexes that go with that. Where is this going you may be asking yourself. Well, I was sitting in a parking

 lot a couple of days ago, having come out of the store catching my breath. I was waiting for the car to cool, sipping water and thinking that now I have become that old person that I used to think I would never become. Boy, was that a devastating realization. How could I get that way? I am that short, fat guy with jean shorts below his knees because he has to super-size them, so they go around his bulging waist line. They look like clown shorts. AARG! Sometimes I sit quietly and wonder why I’m not in a mental asylum. Then I take a look around and realize…. Maybe I already am.

Surely, I Can’t Look That Old?
Have you been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, “Surely I can’t look that old?” I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his D.D.S. diploma. Which bore his full name. Suddenly I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my High School class some thirty-odd years ago.

Upon seeing him, however I quickly discarded any such thought, this balding, gray haired man with deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate, Hmmm, or could he?? After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Central High School.” Yes. Yes, I did.” He gleamed with pride. “When did you graduate?” I asked. He answered, in 1964, Why do you ask?” “You were in my class!” I exclaimed. He looked at me closely. And then, that miserable, near-sighted, ugly, old, wrinkled jerk asked, what did you teach?”

When I got home, I went for a run but came back home after two minutes because I forgot something. I forgot that I’m fat and can’t run for more than two minutes. You’ll never find another me. Not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but it’s the truth. Now on a side note, on a scale of one to ten, how focused are you? My answer: “Banana”.

Enough of a my mini-rant for this day I think. My two Cedar Rapids girls, Jenny, Svenette, and Debby, the younger elder, took me out for a Father’s Day dinner. It was a yummy dinner and a yummy good time. Always enjoy our times together. They noticed I was watching a teenager sitting next to me. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. I kept staring at him. The teenage would look and find me staring every time. Finally, the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, “What’s the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?” Debby quickly swallowed her food so that she would not choke on my response, knowing I would have a good one, and in classic style I did not bat an eye in my response. “Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.”

On the way home, feeling at peace with the world, I picked up a hitchhiker. He seemed surprised that I’d pick up a stranger and asked, “Thanks but why would you pick me up? How do you know I’m not a serial killer?” I told him the chances of two serial killers being in one car would be astronomical.

Singles Ad In The Atlanta Journal
Single black female seeks male companionship. Ethnicity unimportant. I’m a very good-looking girl that loves to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, fishing trips and cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I’ll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Call: xxx-xxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy.
Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week old Black Labrador Retriever.

Today is Cherry Tart Day
Lastly, I was certain you would want to know about Cherry Tart Day, it is thought that the origins of Cherry Tart Day date back to the annual National Cherry Festival held in Michigan, USA. Cherries were plentiful in supply, but their uses were limited. Although cherries are grown on several continents, they have a relatively short growing season.
In a cherry tart, the fruit is presented in an appealing open-faced crusty pastry shell with superior ingredients. Enjoy a scrumptious slice with custard or ice cream, as the pastry crumbles with the tangy cherry taste – rich in antioxidants and even thought to help inflammation.

…….. Well my friends, there you have it as told by yours truly to you all. Thanks for allowing me back into your day, if only for a brief time. It is always an honor. If I can make at least one-person smile, laugh till they leak, or maybe spit out a drink, my day was not wasted. Until we meet again -TA!”

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