“You may say I’m a dreamer but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us and the world will be as one.” Imagine – John Lennon
Welcome to Drivel Over Coffee or whatever this is. Spring is upon us thankfully or so I thought. Yesterday was actually the first day of Spring officially. I celebrated by donning a pair of shorts and had Murphy take me for a walk. (I had to say something about him since he is on my lap reading as I type.)
JUST IN CASE
You probably have never thought about a situation where you experience a heart attack when you are alone. What would you do? Believe me that wouldn’t be a good time but it certainly could happen. If possible, send this on as it is really important for everyone to know!
Let’s say it’s 7:25 pm and you’re going home (alone of course) after an unusually hard day on the job. You’re really tired, upset and frustrated. Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to drag out into your arm and up into your jaw. You are only about five miles from the hospital nearest your home. Unfortunately you don’t know if you’ll be able to make it that far. You have been trained in CPR, but the guy that taught the course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself.
HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE?
1. The person whose heart is beating improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness. However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously.
2. A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest.
3. A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again.
4. Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood circulating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it to regain a normal rhythm.
5. In this way, heart attack victims can get help or to a hospital.
6. Tell as many other people as possible about this. It could save their lives!
It was a week to begin healing. We lost a couple of good people last week. Our goodbyes were heartfelt and tough. My current wife and I expressed our wishes to family and friends albeit not without a bit of a bumpy start. One of our visitations went well, the other – no so much. It began at home. So I asked Sue the time of the visitation that afternoon. Her reply was 1:30. Dutifully we left our home with sufficient time to get to the church on time. We pulled into the church parking lot right at 1:30. There were few cars but I assumed it was because we were the first ones there. We decided to wait for some friends to arrive. They drove separately. We waited and waited. Finally, we went to a convenience store for a beverage. Back at the church – crickets. We waited some more.
We finally googled the obituary fearing we may have the location wrong, the wrong day or time. Only to discover it started at 3:00. We were only an hour and half early. Hmmm, so this is how 71 works? Going to be a long year!
We also lost the founding father of Rock & Rock last Saturday. Charles Edward Anderson “Chuck” Berry was an American guitarist, singer and songwriter and one of the pioneers of rock and roll music. With songs, such as “Maybellene” (1955), “Roll Over Beethoven” (1956), “Rock and Roll Music” (1957) and “Johnny B. Goode” (1958), Berry refined and developed rhythm and blues into the major elements that made rock and roll distinctive. Writing lyrics that focused on teen life and consumerism, and developing a music style that included guitar solos and showmanship, Berry was a major influence on subsequent rock music. Berry was among the first musicians to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame on its opening in 1986; he was cited for having “laid the groundwork for not only a rock and roll sound but a rock and roll stance.” The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame’s 500 Songs That Shaped Rock and Roll includes three of Berry’s: “Johnny B. Goode”, “Maybellene”, and “Rock and Roll Music”. Berry’s “Johnny B. Goode” is the only rock-and-roll song included on the Voyager Satellite’s Golden Record. He will be missed for sure. He was 90 years old. His legacy will live long as will his music. His influence certainly had an impact on the music I still love at this ripe old age.
An Old Friend
I called an old-school friend to let him know about Chuck Berry. I asked what was he doing. He replied that he was working on “Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum and steel under a constrained environment.” I was impressed. On further inquiring, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water …under his wife’s supervision.
I asked about the wife and kids, who I hadn’t seen for quite some time. He told me that Johnny was, yet again in trouble at school. It seems during one of her daily classes, his teacher was trying to teach good manners, she asked her students the following question: “Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?”
Michael said, “Just a minute I have to go pee.” The teacher responded by saying, “That would be rude and impolite. What about you Peter, how would you say it?”
Peter said, “I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” “That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.”
“And you, Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?” I would say: “Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you’ll get to meet after dinner.” The teacher fainted.
REAL 911 Calls! These are Memphis, TN
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich .
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I’m sick and tired of it!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I’m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn’t have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma’am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I’m not stupid.
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What’s the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!
Caller: Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath. Darn….I think I’m going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from
Caller: I’m at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police
Got a frantic call from a woman who claimed she had overdosed and needed help immediately. We arrive on scene, and she hands us an empty mint container, saying she took them all. That night she learned that you cannot overdose on mints.
Vietnam Veterans Day commemorates the sacrifices of Vietnam veterans and their families and is part of a national effort to recognize the men and women who were denied a proper welcome upon returning home more than 44+ years ago, and especially those who continue to sacrifice long after the war ended. Most states celebrate “Welcome Home Vietnam Veterans Day” on March 29 or 30 of each year. On that day in 1973, the last combat troops were withdrawn from Vietnam and the last prisoners of war held in North Vietnam arrived on American soil. It is also the date President Nixon chose for the first Vietnam Veterans Day in 1974.
The military has a long, proud tradition of pranking recruits. For instance:
• Instructed a private in the mess hall to look for left-handed spatulas.
• Sent a recruit to medical-supplies office in search of fallopian tubes.
• Had a new guy conduct a “boom test” on a howitzer by yelling “Boom!” down the tube in order to “calibrate” it.
• Ordered a private to bring back a five-gallon can of dehydrated water (in fact, the sergeant just wanted an empty water can).
The steaming jungles of Vietnam were not my first choice of places to spend my 21st birthday. However, the mood was brightened when I received a birthday cake from my mom. It was carefully encased in a Tupperware container and came with this note: “Doyce, when you’re finished, can you mail back my container?”
…. And that, my friends, is yet another issue of the Drivel. Ah, but I was so much older then I’m younger than that now. As I always say “If I can make at least one-person smile, laugh till they leak, or maybe spit out a drink, then my day was not wasted. Until we meet again -TA!”