Made In The USA #340 – 1/24/2017

“Imagine all the people living life in peace. You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.
I hope someday you’l
l join us, and the world will be as one.”     John Lennon

Welcome to Drivel Over Coffee. Winner of the prestigious WGAS (Who Gives A S) award for 2016. Still up and running after the inauguration and dispite word to the contrary – the sun did come up plus hell has not frozen over yet.

Made In The USA

What can be more patriotic than buying products made in the USA and supporting our armed forces. Yes, people argue that foreign made products are so much cheaper which may be true in some cases. Let’s get with the program and help our fellow Americans keep their jobs and create more jobs here in the USA .

Weinerlicious – Made In America

Did you know that among the things that no longer are made in the USA are such things as electric coffee makers, Hallmark greeting cards, baseballs, spoons & forks, Radio Flyer Red Wagon, Barbie, Levi’s Jeans, TV’s, Colgate toothpaste, GE light bulbs, Bounce Free dryer sheets, Samsonite Luggage, all brands of kitchen appliances except Viking and Kitchen Aid. The list goes on and on. Are you beginning to see that it is urgent that we start bringing manufacturing back to the USA?

I have been remiss in bringing you all up to date on the happenings at the bait shop and to Jimmy. At Coffee Klatch last week, we took up discussing the “Made In America” topic. Naturally, we all supported the concept 100%. Eventually we turned to the café and bait shop we were sitting in. We did a quick inspection despite the protestation of Mustard. We looked for foreign made goods. There really is nothing that screams “Made in the USA” more than Jimmy’s Grill & Bait Shop. Jimmy himself is always decked out in something patriotic even down to his underwear. Every stitch is made in the USA. Now Mustard is another story even though he is a veteran. You would expect obvious things to be locally made like earthworms, minnows, hoppers, and the river fish and certainly was the case at Jimmy’s. We were surprised that the vast majority of Jimmy’s shop was outfitted in Made in the USA products and equipment.

Jimmy certainly has our votes now. Oh, I forgot to tell you, Jimmy is running to be mayor of Cedar Rapids. He threw his red, white & blue hat into the ring the minute the existing mayor announced his run for governor of Iowa. Yvette, Jimmy’s campaign chairperson, indicates that Jimmy wants to update the cities infrastructure and double the boat loading access to local fishermen. You may remember Yvette. She used to be the regional sales manager for a Doggie Bidet Company. She has really come a long way since those days. It will be an exciting race.

Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6am. While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG). He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA).

After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA) he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA) he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY) filled it with gas (FROM SAUDI ARABIA) and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.
At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day checking his Computer (MADE IN MALAYSIA), Joe decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL) poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE) and turned on his TV (MADE IN INDONESIA), and then wondered why he still can’t find a good paying job in AMERICA.

Should you be interested in joining the “Made in America” movement, just google “Made In USA” or “Made In America” for a host of websites that provide a host of products, companies and etc. in this movement. Let’s take America back!

Only in America

A phrase used when something outrageously stupid or idiotic happens in the United States, that normally wouldn’t occur anywhere else in the world. Side by side with the “Made In America” movement is the “Only in America” situations. These incidents are naturally only those things, situations, or events that you will see in the United States.

For instance – A man from Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next-door neighbor’s beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner’s fenced-in yard, and as the man was in the yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt that the man who, at the time, was shooting the animal repeatedly with a pellet gun might have provoked the dog.

How about Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to the Freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver’s seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich not surprisingly, the Motor Home left the Freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner’s manual that she couldn’t actually leave the driver’s seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma Jury awarded her, are you sitting down? $1,750,000 PLUS a new Motor Home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a Motor Home. If you think the Court system is out of control and America has lost ALL common sense, be sure to pass this one on!!!

Then there were the aspiring student psychiatrists from various colleges attending their first class on emotional extremes. “Just to establish some parameters,” said the professor, to the student from the University of Houston, “What is the opposite of joy?” “Sadness”, replied the student. “And the opposite of depression?” the professor asked of the young lady from Rice. “Elation”’, said she. “And you sir’, he said to the young man from Texas A&M. “How about the opposite of woe?” The Aggie replied, “Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up.”

Oh, there are so many examples out there. Here are a few.

• Only in America could politicians talk about the greed of the rich at a $35,000 a plate campaign fund raising event.
• Only in America will you find people who burn the American flag and call America an “imperialist nation,” but who get offended if you say they’re not patriotic.
• Only in America can we have terrorists kill people in the name of Allah and have the media primarily react by fretting that Muslims might be harmed by the backlash.
• Only in America could someone drinking a $5 latte and texting to his friends on an iPhone 6 complain that the government allows some people to make too much money.
• Only in America would people take rappers who brag about shooting people and selling drugs seriously when they complain the police are targeting them unfairly.
• Only in America would we make people who want to legally become American citizens wait for years in their home countries and pay tens of thousands of dollars for the privilege, while we discuss letting anyone who sneaks into the country illegally, just become American citizens.
• Only in America could the people who believe in balancing the budget and sticking by the country’s Constitution, be thought of as “extremists.”
• Only in America could you need to present a driver’s license to cash a check or buy alcohol, but not to vote.
• Only in America could the government force a skating rink to have handicapped parking spots and Braille on the ATM machines.
• Only in America could the government collect more tax dollars from the people than any nation ever has before in all recorded history, still spend a trillion dollars more that it has per year, and complain that it doesn’t have nearly enough money.
• Only in America could the rich people who pay 86% of all income taxes be accused of not paying their “fair share” by people who don’t pay any income taxes at all.
• Only in America could the people who approve of slaughtering 25 million female’s babies via abortion accuse OTHER PEOPLE of waging a “war on women.”

—————— In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

• On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (that’s the only time I have to work on my hair).
• On a bag of Frito’s! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
• On a bar of Dial soap: “Directions: Use like regular soap.” (and that would be how???….)
• On some Swanson frozen dinners: “Serving suggestion: Defrost.” (but, it’s “just” a suggestion).

Only In America – Crash In Aisle 4!

• On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): “Do not turn upside down.” (well…duh, a bit late, huh)!
• On packaging for a Rowenta iron: “Do not iron clothes on body.” (but wouldn’t this save me more time?)
• On Nytol Sleep Aid: “Warning: May cause drowsiness.” (and… I’m taking this because???….)
• On most brands of Christmas lights: “For indoor or outdoor use only.” (as opposed to…what?)
• On a Japanese food processor: “Not to be used for the other use.” now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious. Ok, it was supposed to be translated as ” to be used for intended use only” basically what it means is don’t use your food processor as a wood chipper people. lol
• On Sunsbury’s peanuts: “Warning: contains nuts.” (talk about a news flash)
• On a child’s superman costume: “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.” (I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
• On a Swedish chainsaw: “Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.” (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

….And that, my friends, is another issue of the Drivel for this week. If I can make at least one-person smile, or laugh till they leak, then my day was not wasted. Until we meet again -TA!