Wits End #331 – 11/8/2016

“It’s a national embarrassment that an illegal immigrant can walk across the border and receive free health care and one of our veterans that has served our country is put on a waiting list and gets no care.” Donald Trump

Welcome to Drivel Over Coffee. You are an esteemed member of a group who proudly dribble our French Roast down our shirt while Driveling about our fate in life. Sometimes our view of life becomes slightly skewed while looking through dog licked glasses.

I want to stbarney-the-writerart by wishing a HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Barney my eldest granddog. He has always been a great friend. He is a good snuggler and a lover of sunbathing on sunny days. Barney has helped with the writing of this blog from time to time. His insights and perspective on the issues are unique and pure pug. Barney was 13 yesterday. We hope for many, many more.

What is wit anyway? What then is wits end? Wit, as a noun, is the keen perception and cleverly apt expression of those connections between ideas that awaken amusement and pleasure. Synonyms include drollery, facetiousness, waggishness, repartee. Wits end or Waggishness end is at the end of one’s ideas or mental resources; perplexed. I prefer waggishness as compared to wit. Actually I have been described as being quite of waggish. Or were they describing me as the rear end of a dog wag back and forth. Shoot I thought it was a compliment.

ELECTION DAY 2016

Who knew? I had not heard about until I read the paper this morning. That was a small lie but is okay since I had no intent. So hold onto your fedora everyone. I trust everyone is voting their conscience. It sure has been a weird presidential election year. The hundreds of millions of dollars spent have been a waste for one of them. Who to vote for? Red or Blue. Gosh, I just don’t know. Being a founding member of the Procrastinators Club of America, I knew Nov. 8 would inevitably be upon me. What with all the dirty ads proliferating the airwaves, the telephone calls, the jet fuel polluting our atmosphere, yadda yadda yadda. I am at my wits end. Mind you I don’t have a real long wit so getting to its end doesn’t take much. I had hoped I would be a recipient of a snickel or two of those millions. Sadly, none came my way I decided to go the write-in route. I am proud to say that I voted for Jimmy Fishbag. Yes, the Jimmy Fishbag, owner of Jimmy’s Grill & Bait Shop. My reasoning is this. Jimmy knows how to get away with all sorts of illegal activities, he is not adverse to corruption, he is not an articulate communicator but is known for his braggert style. He is a potty mouthed elitiest who believes he is above everyone else and so it is his turn to be president. All members of the Coffee Klatch are writing him in. Pass the word, write-in Jimmy Fishbag to be the next president.
Mustard has been running the Grill & Bait Shop while Jimmy has quietly been stumping around the country. He is drawing a fair amount of attention. The crowds have been real good. He is drawing more than HRC. I think his downfall may be being from Iowa. Plus the image of simply owning a Grill & Bait Shop is not terribly impressive. However, all the reporters who have stopped by are truly impressed how he co-mingles bait and fresh(at one time) meat in the display cases. They have raved at his efforts at conservation, and reducing his carbon footprint. The solar-powered walk-in self serve meat locker out back has drawn a lot of reporters attention not to mention flies.

Apparently, Jimmy is still being investigated by various city, county, state, and Federal agencies. At last count I believe there were 11 different inquiries open. Rumor has it Jimmy has lined the pockets of the appropriate officials that will insure all of these will go away. Leaving no stone unturned, he reportedly buried his server under a bed of ice in the walk-in cooler. I am not sure if that was a good idea or not what with the occasional power interruption and such. Oh his cell phone is in the river down below. I have heard that authoritie are trying to track down incriminating emails between him and the fish bait pac. FBP (Fish Bait Pac) are major contributors to Jimmy’s unofficial campaign. I personally think funds have been transferred through a Canadian non-profit. How does he keep it all straight? Well, it is all over today. Thankfully.

Coming up in a couple of days will be Veterans Day. Please, take time to thank the veterans you encounter for their service. Believe me, it means a lot to them. What many people don’t realize, especially our younger ones, is the sacrifice the veteran made so that everyone’s freedom is preserved. Those veterans who have been in combat carry with them the sounds, sights, smells of battle every day and night for the rest of their life. Some handle it better than others but all are scared.

Homelessness of a veteran remains a blight on our country. Why illegal immigrants gain so many benefits coming the USA but our veterans are ignored, forgotten, left to sleep under bridges and get substandard care if they get any at all. What is wrong with us? Is it a surprise that 22 veterans commit suicide EVERY day? Any wonder why so many vets are at their wits end?

Billy Bob(member of our Coffee Klatch) forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was mad as “H”. She told Billy Bob “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!!” The next morning when his wife woke up, she looked out the window to find a box… gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale… She was at her wits end. Billy Bob has been missing since the last Friday of the month 6 months ago! He is no longer a member of the Coffee Klatch. RIP Billy Bob.

“It’s not that I can and others can’t, it’s I did and others didn’t.” Remember your Vietnam Veterans – All gave some, some gave all!! If I can make at least one-person smile, or laugh till they leak, then my day was not wasted.

Until we meet again -TA!