Blue Moon #308 –5/24/2016

“What screws us up the most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be.” The Farmers’ Almanac

Welcome everyone to Drivel Over Coffee, the blog; musings, memories and whatnot infused with the earthy aroma of French Roast Coffee with a dose of rant mixed in on occasion. My look upon life as seen through dog-licked glasses.

Last Saturday, May 21, 2016, at 5:14 p.m. Eastern Time, the Moon officially turned full. While you may think it looks full both the night before and after, the Moon will in fact be measurably much brighter on the exact time it’s full. This particular full Moon is also referred to as a Blue Moon. Some may be confused at this name. A Blue Moon usually refers to when we have two full Moons in a month (which happens on average every 2 1/2 to 3 years). Hence the phrase “Once in a Blue Moon.” There is, however, an alternate definition for a Blue Moon, which is what this Moon on Saturday was. Typically, each of the four seasons contains three full Moons. However, sometimes a particular season will have four. When that happens, the third full Moon of that seasonal lunar quartet is designated as a Blue Moon.

Coincidentally, two blondes in Ellis Park were sitting on a bench talking. Eventually they started to talk about the full moon. Neither knew anything about a “Blue” moon. One blonde says to the other, “Which do you think is farther away … Florida or the moon?” The other blonde turns and says “Hellooooooo, can you see Florida?”

Musings – AS I GROW OLDER, I have learned a thing or two. Several of my learnings I decided to share with you’all thinking it may be of help to some. Look, I’m seventy and I have never been this old so I am playing it by ear and learning as I go.

♦ Since it was such a crappy day, I sat in my recliner and started thinking about life. I came to realize that as I have grown older I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
♦ Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex anymore, a friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman’s husband.
♦ Lance Armstrong….. I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved: winning 7 Tour de France races while on drugs. Hell, when I was on drugs, I couldn’t even find my bike.
♦ Drive By….Someone broke into my house last week. They didn’t take my TV, just the remote. Now they drive by and change the channels. Sick bastards!!!
♦ The Agony of Aging….On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend. He was busy covering his pe**s with black shoe polish. I said to him, “You better get your hearing checked you’re supposed to turn your clock back”.

Memories – As a kid with an older brother, I was saddled with being content to play with hand-me down toys. The train set – hand me down. It was not even a Lionel brand. There was a fire truck, a semi-truck, a crane – all hand-me downs. I would usually score a new toy on a birthday or Christmas. That was it. In the summer, I had one hope of a new toy – The State Fair. We ALWAYS went to the State Fair. Dad would linger around the farm implement tents a good share of time. Each tent would have kids sized tractors and such for sale. A couple of days before we would go, I would begin practicing my approach and plea to buying a new toy tractor or whatever. I would deliberately pass on the expensive pieces hoping to show him how reasonable and thoughtful I was. Occasionally it worked, more often than not it failed and I would be crushed the rest of the day.

One time though when I was like 10 or 11, my parents bought me an airplane with a gas motor in it. It was plastic and was controlled with a string that you held onto. You spun around in a circle and depending on how you moved the handle would dictate its flight path. Boy, was I excited. The whole family went outside to see it fly. Our yard was huge, about 5 acres, so space was not a problem. It was all gassed up and the battery hooked up, my dad spun the propeller and the motor starts. I am pumped, sweaty palms and such. Dad calls my brother over, hands him the controller and tells him to show me how it is done. I AM CRUSHED!!!!! There it goes in its’ blue and yellow colors soaring around and around. Then like a plane shot out of the sky, straight down. CRASH! I run over and it is broken into pieces. Its’ maiden flight was its’ last. To this day, I feel deprived.

Whatnots- Interesting comparative views. Canadian’s Version of David Letterman’s Top 10. Just makes you want to shake your head in disbelief, and, just maybe choke someone in charge.
This is Canada’s Top Ten List of America’s Stupidity

# 10 Only in America … Could politicians talk about the greed of the rich at a $35,000.00 per plate.

# 09 Only in America … Could people claim that the government still discriminates against black Americans when they have a black President, a black Attorney General and roughly 20% of the federal workforce is black while only 14% of the population is black, 40+% of all federal entitlements goes to black Americans – 3X the rate that go to whites, 5X the rate that go to Hispanics!

# 08 Only in America … Could they have had the two people most responsible for our tax code, Timothy Geithner (the head of the Treasury Department) and Charles Rangel (who once ran the Ways and Means Committee), BOTH turn out to be tax cheats who are in favor of higher taxes.

# 07 Only in America … Can they have terrorists kill people in the name of Allah and have the media primarily react by fretting that Muslims might be harmed by the backlash.

# 06 Only in America … Would they make people who want to legally become American citizens wait for years in their home countries and pay tens of thousands of dollars for the privilege, while they discuss letting anyone who sneaks into the country illegally just ‘magically’ become American citizens. (probably should be number one)

# 05 Only in America … Could the people who believe in balancing the budget and sticking by the country’s Constitution be called EXTREMISTS.

# 04 Only in America … Could you need to present a driver’s license to cash a check or buy alcohol, but not to vote.

# 03 Only in America … Could people demand the government investigate whether oil companies are gouging the public because the price of gas went up when the return on equity invested in a major U.S. Oil company (Marathon Oil) is less than half of a company making tennis shoes (Nike).

# 02 Only in America … Could you collect more tax dollars from the people than any nation in recorded history, still spend a Trillion dollars more than it has per year – for total spending of $7 Million PER MINUTE, and complain that it doesn’t have nearly enough money.

# 01 Only in America …. Could the rich people – who pay 86% of all income taxes – be accused of not paying their “fair share” by people who don’t pay any income taxes at all?

Not everyone who lost his life in Vietnam died there. Not everyone who came home from Vietnam ever left there. If I can make at least one-person smile, or laugh till they leak, then my day was not wasted. Until we meet again -TA!