The Farmers Almanac
Good Morning Drivellers.
This blog came into existence due to the ineptitude of our Solid Waste Agency and the Solid Waste & Recycling Divisions of our city and county governments. I truly believe the people running these entities lie awake at nights dreaming up new and unique ways to make the lives of the citizens as disagreeable as possible. In the beginning (of the blog) I opined about the Yardy, Curby and Garby carts we had to use and the restrictions these imposed. Every home ended up with 3 plastic barrels. Touted as the best way to get recyclables out of the landfills and etc. There was all sorts of hoopla not to mention the purchase of special collection trucks. Three new routes were created – one for each cart. Seems we now have changed our minds once again. Rumor has it that either the Curby or Yardy will be moved from weekly pickup to every other week. Apparently, running 3 routes every week is a bit costly. Duh! Wouldn’t you think that would have been contemplated initially?
A big shout-out to Sven’s parents. They came down to Cedar Rapids to deliver a lug of peaches and blueberries on Friday. The Georgia peaches are FANTASTIC. We, of course, had to partake of a biscuit and beverage while visiting. Great time. Thanks a lot B and H.
Overheard at the water fountain. A husband returns from church and lifts his wife up…. His wife said “Honey this is new, you never did this before this surely means you’re loving me more.” The husband replied “Well at church today the Pastor said we should lift our problems up to God.” There’s your sign.
Has it been hot at your house? Humid? Yip, same here. Now I normally don’t go to the pool but this last weekend I was so friggin’ uncomfortable I thought I would give it a go. Of course, it took me about 45 minutes of rummaging through my drawers to find something that resembled a swimming suit. I did finally find my old speedo from days long ago. Hey, I thought this will work after all they are stretchy. Off I go to the pool. I am having a good time and that speedo is drawing a lot of attention. I think people were surprised a 69 year old could look so good. I did a little sunbathing, goofed around with some younger people in the pool. It was great until I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in. When you are over sixty-five, who gives a *****.
I was visiting my daughter Debby, the younger elder, last night. I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. “Dad, this is the 21st century” Debby said. “We don’t waste money on newspapers anymore. Here, use my iPad.” I can tell you this… that damn fly never knew what hit him.
A group of seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments at a favorite restaurant. “My arms have got so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee,” said one. “Yes, I know,” said another. “My cataracts are so bad; can’t even see my coffee.” “I couldn’t even mark an “X” at election time because my hands are so crippled,” volunteered a third. “What? Speak up! What? I can’t hear you, said one elderly lady. I can’t turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck,” said one, to which several nodded weakly in agreement. “My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy!” exclaimed another. “I forget where I am and where I’m going,” said another. “I guess that’s the price we pay for getting old,” winced an old man as he slowly shook his head. The others nodded in agreement. “Well, count your Blessings,” said a woman cheerfully… Thank God we can all still drive.
LOTS OF OLD FOLK MEMORIES IN THIS ONE…I have listened to the words to American Pie for many years and thought I understood everything that was being sung about. However, when the words are put together with pictures and film clips the song takes on new meaning. This took a lot of thought and it sure brings back lots of memories. A job well done! This link is worth watching. http://youtu.be/VhX3b1h7GQw
THE 2015 USA WELFARE PLAN (someone sent me this, no idea if it is correct or not.)
A guy and his girlfriend with two kids. Follow these proven steps.
1. Don’t get married to her.
2. Always use your mom’s address to get mail.
3. The guy buys a house.
4. Guy rents out house to his girlfriend who has 2 of his kids.
5. Section 8 will pay $900 a month for a 3 bedroom home.
6. Girlfriend signs up for Obamacare so guy doesn’t have to pay for family insurance.
7. Girlfriend gets to go to college for free being a single mother.
8. Girlfriend gets $600 a month for food stamps.
9. Girlfriend gets free cell phone.
10. Girlfriend get free utilities.
11. Guy moves into home but continues to use mom’s house to get mail.
12. Girlfriend claims one kid and guy claims one kid on taxes. Now each get to claim head of house hold at $1,800 credit.
13. Girlfriend gets disability for being “crazy” or having a “bad back” at $1,800 a month and never has to work again.
This plan is perfectly legal and is being executed now by millions of people. A married couple with a stay at home mom yields $0 dollars. An unmarried couple with stay at home mom nets.
$21,600 disability +
$10,800 free housing +
$6,000 free Obamacare +
$6,000 free food +
$4,800 free utilities +
$6,000 Pell grant money to spend +
$12,000 a year in college tuition free from Pell grant +
$8,800 tax benefit for being a single mother =
$75,000 a year in benefits. Any idea why our country is $18 + trillion in debt!
“It’s not that I can and others can’t, it’s I did and others didn’t.” If I can make at least one person smile, or laugh till they leak, then my day was not wasted. Now, until we meet again. -TA!