Drivel Over Coffee #261 5/19/2015

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. – Socrates

Good morning all. I will politely avoid commenting on today’s quote. Probably wouldn’t be appropriate. Y’all will interpret that one.

Sadly, I was remiss in not mentioning just how wonderful Mother’s Day was in last week’s blog. I think I forgot because I am not a mother. The newlyweds, Sven and Svenette, had us over for a BBQ. It continues to amaze me how much energy these two people have; day in, day out. Their computerized calendar has very few gaps in it. Without a computer they would be hopelessly lost. It didn’t come as surprise that the meal was outstanding. I would have expected nothing less. Oh, there was the usual denials on the quality by our hosts but that was only to assuage my ego a bit after the previous weeks failure at my house. These guys just make you have a good time. If I could only talk to let them know.

Had my cursory 30 day follow-up at the radiation center. It was more or less proforma. They closed the book on me and are pushing me back to the VA now. That appointment isn’t until the 1st of June. Still can’t talk, cough a lot and don’t sleep well. No one has had the idea yet of putting a scope down my throat to look around. Duh! Seems logical to me. I have started googling the net for instructions on building my own. We will see how that goes.

Those of us who spend much time in a doctor’s office should appreciate this! A guy I once knew named Kevin had this happen to him. Kevin walked into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Kevin said: ‘Shingles.’ So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat. Fifteen minutes later a nurse’s aide came out and asked Kevin what he had…. Kevin said, ‘Shingles.’ So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Kevin to wait in the examining room. A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Kevin what he had. Kevin said, ‘Shingles..’ So the nurse gave Kevin a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Kevin to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor. An hour later the doctor came in and found Kevin sitting patiently in the nude and asked Kevin what he had. Kevin said, ‘Shingles.’ The doctor asked, ‘Where?’ Kevin said, ‘Outside on the truck… Where do you want me to unload ’em?’ Healthcare! Oh Boy.

Interesting History – Your lesson for today

In George Washington’s days, there were no cameras. One’s image was either sculpted or painted. Some paintings of George Washington showed him standing behind a desk with one arm behind his back while others showed both legs and both arms. Prices charged by painters were not based on how many people were to be painted, but by how many limbs were to be painted. Arms and legs are “limbs,” therefore painting them would cost the buyer more.

Hence the expression. “Okay, but it’ll cost you an arm and a leg.”

As incredible as it sounds, men and women took baths only twice a year! (May and October) Had mine yesterday. WOW, did it ever feel good. Took most of the morning. I had to soften some of the crusty places before soaping up. Women kept their hair covered, while men shaved their heads (because of lice and bugs) and wore wigs. I don’t understand. Does it mean women put up with the lice and bugs or what? Wealthy men could afford good wigs made from wool. The wigs couldn’t be washed, so to clean them they could carve out a loaf of bread, put the wig in the shell, and bake it for 30 minutes. The heat would make the wig big and fluffy.

Hence the term “big wig.” Today we often use the term “here comes the Big Wig” because someone appears to be, or is powerful and wealthy. You may notice that I do not have a wig, hence not a big wig.

In the late 1700s, many houses consisted of a large room with only one chair. Commonly, a long wide board was folded down from the wall and used for dining. The “head of the household” always sat in the chair while everyone else ate sitting on the floor. Once in a while, a guest (who was almost always a man) would be invited to sit in this chair during a meal.. To sit in the chair meant you were important and in charge. Sitting in the chair, one was called the “chair man.”

Today in business we use the expression or title “Chairman or Chairman of the Board.” Who knew?

Now I submit these 10 thing for your consideration, ponderation, rumination, and discussion.

  • Life is sexually transmitted.
  • Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
  • Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.
  • Some people are like Slinkys. Not really good for anything, but you can’t help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
  • Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. It’s really annoying to die healthy.
  • Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing.
  • All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
  • Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
  • In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
  • Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

The past few months I have chosen to wear my Vietnam Veteran colors. Mainly it is my way of letting the world know that for 46 years I have endured the effects of the war and remain bitter. One of the songs of the war was “We’ve Gotta Get Out of This Place” by The Animals. It was kind of an anthem. Still brings goose bumps when I hear it. I heard just yesterday that some kidney stones were heard singing this song when they successfully escaped their prison. Let’s give him a moment of silence, he has earned it. ….. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy. Best of luck.

Here’s to all the people who remain unharmed because I have coffee and a sense of humor. Remember, there is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I’m doing it as a public service. This issue brought to you by Snake Oil Willie Band. Now, until we meet again. -TA!